By JP Krahel
The Bronc giveth, and the good Bronc, he taketh away.
Just a little while ago, Rider said to us, “You’ll be able to live on campus next year if you want.” Then they told us that a select few would be packed, three a piece, into rooms small enough to warrant their own set of vertical bars.
Fine, so that may have been a little bit of hyperbole, but it seems like this school never gives us something without taking something in return. Recently, however, a move has been made that is unconscionable, unthinkable and perhaps indecent to print in the pages of this newspaper. I will, however, brave the flames of the corporate demon beast that is Aramark Corp. and say what I know a lot of residents are thinking:
They’re taking away our trays.
Now, I know that a lot of you don’t use the trays. You’re content with a single plate and a glass, and that’s fine. More power to you. But for many of us who still have a lot of growing to do, we need that extra real estate for our culinary adventures. On several occasions in recent weeks, I’ve felt quite emasculated trying to balance two glasses, a bowl full of Mongolian beef and a handful of fortune cookies while heading to my traditional table behind the soda machines. It’s just not cool for a growing boy like me to be forced into such a position.
Now, I understand the rationale they’re giving you. It’ll save water! We’ll help the environment! (This from the school that staples approximately seven trillion light bulbs to the library every winter.) I also have a good guess at the real rationale: They don’t want you eating so much. We’re a growing student body (in number, if not in girth), and as it is, Daly’s can’t sate the full appetite of everyone on campus without incurring long lines and the ire of hurried residents looking to get in a quick bite between their 11:30 classes and their 1:10 labs. That said, I still think there’s got to be a better path than incurring this indignity upon us trayholders.
There is, however, a sliver of hope. Remember; this school never takes away without giving something back in return. In the hopes of expediting the karmic balance to which we are all entitled, I’ve compiled a list of ways in which Rider could make our lives easier.
1. Let us swipe in to any building at any time, day or night. Why can’t I get into Switlik to see my buddy at 10:30 at night? Why can’t Greeks get into residence halls? Why is it that we can’t get into the New Building on the weekends without the awkward “Hey, let me in” phone call? A Hill resident can vandalize Hill just as easily as an Olson resident. Speaking of vandalism …
2. Let’s stop all this “$5 minimum charge” business on our semesterly damage charges. If my share of residence hall damages comes out to $3.16, how about we just add $3.16 to my bill? I know it’s just a few bucks here or there, but it’s the principle, damn it.
3. Why don’t we exercise a little creative discretion on the part of the administration in terms of what we permit to go on campaign posters? All I’ve learned so far from the posters I’ve seen is that there are five to 10 people whom I’ve never met who really listen to the voice of the students. Also, lest we forget, one cannot have a campaign poster on campus without either a check box or some inane play on words. Next year, creative posters only. Then we’d get a battle between only the qualified and funny guys, and we’d waste a lot less paper. I miss Steve Klemchalk.
Please, don’t let my voice be the only one protesting this monstrous hypocrisy.
I’m not a very creative guy, and I’m sure there are plenty of little things going unnoticed. Send an e-mail, write a letter or go in person and make a suggestion. This school is our shared heritage, and I’d hate to see it go trayless.